Jackson Soloist C, San Dimas 1984 Hot Pink Metal Flake

  What man doesn't dream of pink? The marketing executives on Madison Avenue know this all too well. When was the last time you walked through the mall and didn't see this name prominently displayed on some 19-something-year-old's behind? You see this particular display of seemingly open promiscuity on full display at the gym all the time. One of the top-selling artists on this planets stage name is- yep, you guessed it. Pink. How do you think you went from driving a convertible Saleen Mustang to a Honda Odessey? Once again, the power of pink. Woman have known this for years while men, on the other hand, fall prey to it time and again. That subtle combination of red and white could be the very downfall of Man. Psychologists will tell you that this color represents compassion, nurturing and love, but what they don't tell you is, it actually represents baby wipes, mini-vans and house notes. "Pink," gentlemen is what I'm speaking of here.

   The color that allures we men is also the color of the "sword of Damocles." To all you vaginistas out there, I understand you completely. What if shopping for the right woman was as easy as shopping for a new guitar? I know- I've heard of these women from the Ukraine with names like Inna, Yulia and the ever so popular Alexandra. Millions of websites are dedicated to this premise or shall I say, "slight of hand." They'll show you a Ukrainian Christie Brinkley only to ship you out a he/she that looks like Melissa McCarthy that moonlights as a diesel mechanic. Why friends? Once again- pink. Pink is not the enemy, my friends as I just demonstrated to you. The madness pink brings to us is the culprit indeed. So what we need to take from all this is a lesson in discernment. The word "discernment" is a word you may have heard from the back pew of the church at one time, but someone once wrote:

  Discernment is the ability to see things for what they really are and not for what you want them to be.

   I agree, so with all that being said, I want you to see that the devil isn't in the color itself, but of our own mindset. As for the 19- something-year-old at the mall with P.I.N.K. on her behind? Do like we all do- just stare. Hell, nobody will think you're strange for wearing mirrored shades in the mall at night. If questioned, just tell them that you're a huge Corey Hart fan and yes, you do wear your sunglasses at night.

 "So I can, So I can keep track of the visions in my eye." Nice, Corey and now class, you are dismissed..."